The Tricky Tricky Mind
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Focus on the Next Task
Well it appears I have shingles. Neat. After finding this out, I was reflecting on the last couple of months, and it is quite evident that my body is responding accordingly. During this time I have been constantly focused on the next task giving no energy or focus to the present one. It was constantly about what I had to do next instead of what I was doing at the moment. I was finding it very hard to focus on tasks, which made the neurotic tendencies even worse. It should have been a fairly good indication that I was not in a very healthy mental state when a couple weeks ago I had a mild panic attack while boarding a plane for a work trip. But did I listen then?? No, I had future things to focus on!
This year started off pretty well. I had a great January. I did a 31 day challenge completing a few activities daily including Yoga with Adriene’s Yoga Revolution, drinking 80 oz of water a day, and flossing, and I was feeling really good. Then I told a few people about my goals for the year and my brain went into the “Who do you think you are?” and “What makes you think you deserve to accomplish things?” mode, and everything I gained in January apparently disappeared. After that I consistently avoided meditation, but I knew it was the exact thing I needed to be doing. I was back into resisting my wellness, and fighting myself again.
Luckily, I went to a greatly inspiring retreat at the end of March and got a little of my game back, revived my goals for the year, and took everything head on. I thought I was in a pretty good state. I was planning, I was striving for the goals I wanted to accomplish, and I was busy, so with a little sleight of hand my brain tricked me into thinking it was all good, but now I realize that my mind had reverted back to its old, dirty tricks. I was mostly avoiding the activities that I needed most, and I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. My mind went back into resistance and managed to do so without me even noticing.
Listening to the Body's Queues
The body provides queues when things aren’t in a state of wellness and harmony, but unfortunately many of us don’t recognize the signs or ignore them until it is too late. And so here I am, pretty uncomfortable with shingles but also glad I reflected on the past few months to understand how the heck I got them.
I remember in January, consistently seeing and hearing the word “Serenity” for like a week it was everywhere. I saw it in so many places that I thought it had to be a sign of some sort but wasn’t sure of what that sign was. Well I think I now know: I need to practice serenity. If I can practice discomfort, I can certainly practice serenity. I can also assure you that I will be meditating and practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment daily.
When things don’t seem quite right within you, I encourage you to evaluate and reflect on what could be going on. I received plenty of warning signs from my body, but I did not recognize them. The mind is a powerful beast that likes to play by its own rules, but if we can practice healthy and consistent daily habits we can better identify triggers, manage them, and master mental wellness. A few lessons I have learned over the past couple days:
Be mindful of the “busy-ness” façade
Be present in the moment and focus on what you are doing in the present moment
Pay attention to the queues from your body, it will continue to escalate the matter until things change
When you know you should be doing something for wellness, ensure to implement it even if the mind fights you on it